2018: Life Lessons

My almost-Christmas birthday + the approaching end of the year puts me in an extra grateful, extra reflective moodt.

This past year has been filled with experiences and aha moments that I want to build on in the next year. The keyword for my 2018 has been O P E N: a year of learning to open my heart, mind, and perspective. Hands down, the hardest part has been learning how to open my heart in the quest to find love because disappointment and heartbreak are inevitable when dealing with other earthlings. It takes courage to be vulnerable and show the soft parts of yourself. I've discovered that the beauty of being open allows for good things, people, and opportunities to come into my life while also allowing things, people, and opportunities not meant for me to pass through. So as I close my eyes, light a candle, and reflect on this past twerk around the sun, here are 28 life lessons 2018 has taught me...

On Self

HBD to moi! <3

1. I’m not for everyone and everyone isn’t for me. Periodt.

2. What’s “too much” for one person, is not enough for another, but just right for someone else. Therefore, I should always be true to my extra AF self.

3. Give myself credit for putting my heart and art on the line. That takes moxie.
4. Don’t wait around for someone else to go to an event with me or to collab on an idea. I can’t blame others for my boredom or unhappiness. Go to that mixer! I just might meet some kindred spirits.
5. Put yourself in a position to be found. The light within you can’t shine and reach others if you’re always incognito, Kendra. (confessions of an introvert)
6. Oh. I’m not an introvert. I’m a High-Functioning Introvert™. (More on that in 2019.)
7. I need to write more. It’s cathartic and fun!

8. Sarah Jakes Roberts, Amanda Seales, Tracy G, Yvonne Orji, and Luvvie Ajayi are the homies. Keep their messages and podcasts in rotation when my spirit is parched and needs that extra hydration.
9. I know exactly who I am. Sometimes I just forget that I know who I am.
10. Commit to myself in aaaaaall areas of my life. Hold myself accountable for what I said I was going to do. Go to the gym like I said I would. Say no to things that don’t bring me peace/add to my quality of life. Go to church because I need a fresh word. I am always in a relationship with myself. While I am committing to myself, I am also learning how a healthy, committed relationship should look and feel. *snaps*

On Love/"Love"

I saw this on the ground on a first date. I shoulda known... #smh

11. Protect my heart by any means necessary!

12. I have developed my palate to recognize when somebody’s son is trying to serve me up a bowl of Chef F*ck Boyardee disguised as authentic manicotti. Boy, bye!

13. I won’t always get the closure that I need from another person, but I can construct that closure for myself and happily move on.
14. It would be nice to be a Vulcan but alas, I am human. Feeling all the feelings does not make me weak, but I don't have to get carried away or make decisions based on emotions. Acknowledge the emotions, breathe through them, and make a decision from a place of truth, not just emotion.

15. Flaky people have no place in my life. Flakiness is meant for croissants and baklava, not friends and certainly not [potential] boyfriends.

16. It’s actually possible in this day and age to organically meet a nice guy outside of a dating app. Who knew?!

On Career

Tryna be on my Issa Rae

17. Follow those random, crazy ideas that pop into my head. I never know what God could be trying to create through me!
18. If I don’t know, I better ask somebody! Do not hesitate to reach out to someone who is an expert in what I am seeking to know.

19. So I haven’t had any auditions in a month? Great. Work on my craft and keep my materials up to date BECAUSE NOW I HAVE 5 SELF-TAPES TO SUBMIT BY THE END OF THE DAY AND A CALLBACK FOR THAT COMMERCIAL TOMORROW.

20. Closed mouths don’t get fed. If I deserve something or want to see a change, then I better speak up.

21. Every time I encounter a “no”, it’s a setup for me to dig deeper and elevate to the next tier. [Alexa, play "Level Up"]

On Life

Me: "God, I need a sign." God: "Say no more." Spotted these little messages on different trains throughout the year!

22. When things are going well: pray. When things are going badly: pray. When ain’t nothin’ going on: pray.

23. Life is long and short at the same time. I don’t have to have eeeeeverything figured out all at once. Take the lessons as they come and apply them in the next moment. I’ve made it this far and I have so much further to go.

24. Take MY time. I am not on anyone else’s timeline. "What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly."- Charles Addams

25. In some ways, I am beyond my years and in other ways I am naive. That’s why I have friends in my life who fill my gaps and whose gaps I fill. Share the wisdom that I have and accept the wisdom of those trustworthy friends of mine.

26. The ups and downs of adulting can sometimes try to steal away my sense of wonder. Don’t forget to stoke and indulge my child-like imagination.
27. Enjoy where I am NOW. Don’t romanticize the past because it’s familiar. Don’t dread the future because it is unknown. Look around at where I am and who I am now and celebrate!
28. “It won’t always be like this”. Dad knows best. Sometimes. LOL

***B O N U S***

Equal parts delicate flower and cactus.

Just because one area of my life hasn't bloomed, doesn’t mean that my whole life is unfruitful. Different seeds require a different amount of nourishment and time to flourish. Keep planting, pruning, watering, growing, and enjoying my entire garden.

Wishing everyone a joyous end to 2018 <3